A/C Kind of Faith

Let me give you an inside look of my current situation. I’m in a room that is not mine (is that breaking the rules?) sleeping on the floor (thankfully on a mattress, but I may be breaking another rule?) because the girls in this particular room had purchased ac for the night. That is one thing I took for granted at home: constant cold air flowing through my room.  Don’t get my wrong, I feel incredibly blessed to even be sleeping on a mattress on the floor right now because, in many ways, God could have made this look differently. I have been questioning a lot of things lately when it comes to the way God works. Not in a doubtful or resentful way. But things could just be different. Our ministry could have been different here in Jaco. Our squad could have been different. Our leaders could’ve been different. You get my drift. So the question is, why is everything happening the way it is? I ask that and I already know the answer that is very commonly associated with the question.

Because God had a plan. He has orchestrated every little detail to bring me to where I am now. 

I could run with that and be satisfied with knowing that it is true. But I feel like God is trying to show me something more. 

We usually start the day with squad devotionals on ministry days. At first I felt so blessed with being filled up with so much knowledge, but then I started to get frustrated in the second week. I was being taught so many things that I could not keep up. I felt overwhelmed and unprepared. I started to zone out during these lessons because I did not know how else to respond. 

My amazing team leader, Christy, helped me realize why I was so frustrated. I have put a big chunk of my faith on my church. I did not have much of my own faith. I have been incredibly blessed to attend a church that is solely based on Scripture, and that’s how every church should be. But because of that, I never really forced myself to learn more. Yes, I read my Bible and I did other Bible devotionals. But I was not challenging myself, and because I was not doing much research outside of Sunday sermons, my faith and biblical knowledge was limited. This is what He’s trying to show me. I could not see if for myself so He had someone else tell me. I am so thankful that our Heavenly Father is so loving and patient. 

This is my challenge: Find my own faith. What do I want to learn? What do I believe, based on what Scripture says? What do I want my relationship with God to look like? How do I want to influence the people around me?